Arnold Was Here

One restless Saturday in December I took the bus out to Thal, which is notable for two reasons: it is the home of a famous church designed by Ernst Fuchs, and it is the home of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

The town was small, but because I decided to go on an impulse, and because I'm not very good at being impulsive, I had no idea how to get to the church or any Arnie sights. I stopped in a Gasthaus (a restaurant/bar/local hangout) and asked for directions. The moment I stepped in, every person in the Gasthaus, all middle-aged men, turned to look at me. I asked for directions really quickly, said thank you, and left pretending not to understand the guys who were asking/yelling for me to have a drink with them. I probably should have expected the town that produced the terminator to seep testosterone from its pores.

The church turned out not to be too far away. It also turned out to be just as much of an acid trip as it looked like in pictures. The theme seemed to be "under the sea", with the floor and pews curving like waves and covered in pebbles that looked like they had come from the ocean floor. The glass in the windows was full of tiny bubbles, and all this was illuminated by reflecting lights and psychedelic colors. Sebastian and Flounder would have been more at home here than St. Jakob. The whole time I was there I had to suppress the urge to sing "Part of Your World" (it wouldn't have been the same without Meggy anyway). It's very Little Mermaid, but also looks like a place that might play music by the Doors and reek of patchouli, doesn't it?

Outside the church there was a little museum celebrating Arnold Schwarzenegger, and I heard that somewhere in the town you can see his childhood home and the row boat in which he proposed to Maria Shriver, but the best Schwarzenegger sight, in my opinion, was his school. It was locked so I couldn't go in, but I hope artistic execution of the painting/giant photo of Arnold's head on the outside (which basically says you can move mountains if you believe in yourself) makes your day just as much as it made mine.