A Day in the Life

You might be wondering how glamorous it is to teach English at a fashion school. Or how I manage to get around town without my not-so-trusty Stratus. Or even how much quiet time I squeeze into each day.

To answer all these questions we'll use last Thursday as an example, and I'll depict a typical day in the life of Emily Feitl.

I wake up at 6:30 (yep, AM). I shower in our Euro-shower, which is hundreds of times more complicated that showering in an American shower. American showers (bless them) are standardly equipped with such modern conveniences shower curtains (along with over the counter drugs and a sense of personal space these things do not appear to have made their way across the Atlantic). Showering in a Euro-shower seems to have some secret art form to that I have yet to master, and the only way I can keep from soaking the floor is to shower sitting down.

After showering I inhale my Cheerios and tea before running out the door with my shoes half on and hair half dry to catch the Strassenbahn (tram), for which I invariably leave five minutes later than I should. As I'm running I say a silent prayer that the neighbor's rottweiler isn't outside. He's not a happy dog anyway (he makes Molly look like a marshmallow) and running REALLY seems to get him excited.

My first lesson is at the fashion school. A lesson is called a "Stunde" ("hour"), even though it's actually 50 minutes long. During my Stunde at the fashion school I meet a new class. For about the 15th time (not exaggarating) I play a game with them in which I write number, names, and words on the board and they have to ask me questions to figure out what these things mean to me. Afterwards I have them each tell me something about themselves. A girl in the front tells me that she lives on a farm but drives into Graz to go to school every day. When I ask her if she prefers the country or the city she looks thoughtful for a moment and then replies, "I like the city, but I love my goats."

During the second hour I'm with one of my favorite teachers a favorite classes. This teacher is always trying to perfect her English and asks me questions like, "Is it right to say you 'talk crap' about some one?", for which I have brilliant answers such as "No, it's actually to 'talk shit' about some one." The students are all taking this class to prepare for an exam for the Cambridge Certificate in English, which basically serves as proof that they're proficient. In their workbook is a picture of people doing various activities in each of the four seasons, and the teacher asks the students to get into four groups and come up with a story to describe each picture. The group with the winter-time picture, which depicts two children building a snowman, asks what the English word for "verzueckt" is (it's "enchanted). Expecting something sweet and Disney-esque from the two girls in the group, I ask them to tell their story first. They say that the boy and girl were brother and sister and forgot their keys when they came home from school. To pass the time until their parents came home they started building a snowman. The end.

"What about the enchanted part?" I ask.

At first they don't respond, but after a little prodding agree to tell the rest of the story.

"The snowman becomes enchanted and kills the family while they sleeping," one of the girls finally informs me.

Through my surprise I manage to stutter, "But he doesn't have any arms..."

To which they reply "He strangles them with the scarf."

Before heading to the Gymnasium for my final Stunde (I only have 3 on Thursday, but have 5 on both Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday and Fridays are free) I stop to buy a snack. The safest bet for this is to get some sort of pastry, but for whatever reason I decide to be really Austrian and get a small sandwich instead. I try to find one without ham, salami, or mayonaisse, but this is impossible (more on Austrian food to come later).

At the Gymnasium I teach a lesson on hip-hop and whether or not it's a continuation of the Civil Rights movement. I try (unsuccessfully) to explain to the students, who are about 16, that cuss words are worse in English than in German, and that although we're going to listen to some bad words in these songs (by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five and NWA) it isn't ok to walk around the US saying things like "F*ck tha Police" (note: profanity is treated really liberally in Austria, and cuss words are seen more as informal speech than as offensive words). I think that the students will be interested enough in this lesson to listen to me teach rather than to themselves talking over me for once, but I am so wrong. After about half an hour of asking, telling, and ordering them to be quiet, I finally snap and from deep within my vocal cords summon the voice of James Earl Jones to spit venom and bellow "STOP TALKING!" To my surprise this works, a silence falls over the room, and while I'm not sure they end up learning anything about hip hop or Civil Rights in the 1980s, I pat myself on the back for having successfully herded cats.

As soon as that Stunde finishes at 11:30, I hop back on the Strassenbahn to head home and take a nap. The S-Bahn is crowded body to body, but I try to stay as far as possible from the man with the Chihuahua that's snapping at people when it isn't shaking in that way that only Chihuahuas do.

After my nap (made possible with the help of my trusty earplugs to drown out the sound of my housemate Zach's violin practicing) I throw a quick load of laundry into our mini-washer, which is operated by an indecipherable grid of numbers and symbols that probably hold the secret to unlocking the truth behind the Vatican secret in the next Dan Brown novel. Then I walk about 15 minutes to the bus that will take me to the university for my course on Interculturality and Education. My Czech friend Michaela is also in this class.

The class is uneventful and mostly a repeat of what I learned in my anthro classes at Sewanee, but when I get home I learn that my housemate Yasha has made chicken noodle soup for me and our other houemates and every one's ready to have a family dinner. The soup has a curious nutty and sweet flavor, which Yasha, who knows even less about cooking than I do, tells us comes from the fact that he used chicken broth, carrots, noodles, mushrooms, cinnamon, chestnuts, and balsamic vinegar to flavor it.

After dinner I Skype, catch up on all the TV I've missed (those shows won't watch themselves!), and plan lessons before putting in my ear plugs (so Rick Feitl) and going to sleep.

Graz Living

Welcome to MTV Cribs Euro Edition!
In this episode we'll check out the Styrian retreat of teaching assistants Emily, Laura, and Zach, and violinist Yasha.

We'll start in the dining/entry area. These fine furnishings are just a taste of the vast collection of Ikea originals from the 2009 catalogue that make this house a home. Sprinkled across the table are the bus and tram timetables consulted by the four housemates when the driver is on vacation (365 days a year). A 19" television and LL Cool J-style boom box provide the basis for the entertainment center in the adjoining space.

Next, let's check out Emily's bedroom. The bed is a roomy standard twin size, and no, folks, you don't need to get your eyes checked- those are actual vintage Cabbage Patch dolls lying across it! As if these collector's items (or two best friends... you say tomato I say tomahto) weren't enough, a genuine As Seen on TV Snuggie graces the foot of the bed (a gift from a dear friend in Tennessee who thinks she's really funny). The picture frames gracing the walls and desk were handcrafted by the artisans at the "Everything's 1 Euro" store.
The grand vista from Emily's room is also pictured here, the red brooms providing a dramatic contrast to the lush green landscape. Not pictured here are the three closets (read it and weep, Ellie Bear!) that hold Emily's Gap couture.

Connected to Emily's room is the bathroom shared by the two female housemates. The tub is the perfect place to soak after a long day of teaching 1 or 2 lessons and catching up on internet TV. The radiator doubles as a towel rack and heater (and is probably the most ingenious thing I've encountered in Austria). (Sidenote: this room is exactly what it's name suggests: a BATHroom. The toilet and another sink are in a different room down the hall. This set-up has me scratching my head, too).

Moving on to the kitchen, we'll see even more Ikea furnishings. This is where the housemates spend much of their time, as the home does not have a couch and the wicker chairs in the dining area are mostly show pieces (and falling apart). Pound after pound of pasta, and every once in a while a bowl of rice, is boiled in this room daily.

Finally, let's step outside from the kitchen's back door to see what you've all been waiting for: the swimming pond. In recent months it's been taken over by frogs, a resident newt, many different types of algae (Dad and Andrew would LOVE it), and cold weather, but we're assured that it's more human-friendly in the summer.

And there you have Emily's humble Graz haus.
Next, stay tuned for a special episode of "Pimp my Stratus"!

Breaking Dawn

This weekend I went to Forks.

It was a quick visit, but even through the fog (you know how that Washington weather can be!) I managed to see a lot. KIDDING! I know I had you fooled and jealous (and by you I mean Meggy O'Roark, Ellie Feitl, and Sarah Gianopoulos, of course), but look at those pictures and tell me you don't get excited about the movie New Moon. The second picture is the spitting image of the field where the Cullens play baseball. Have the connections my mind makes between Austria and familiar places progressed to full-on delusions?

While I didn't visit Twilight-central, I did do something else very exciting and probably more beneficial this weekend. I MADE FRIENDS!

As I was standing in line to get my student ID a few weeks ago I met a girl from the Czech Republic named Michaela. She was really friendly and asked me if I wanted to come with her and a group of other international students on a day trip the following Sunday. I was so excited to be making a friend and so flustered by having to do it in German that I didn't actually hear where she said we were going, and by the time I realized this had already enthusiastically (with my signature "my German may be bad but at least I can smile really big at you!" grin plastered across my face) agreed to come along and would have looked even more stupid had I asked for her to repeat where we were going.

It turned out that we were supposed to go to cave nearby (which I'm sure had nothing on Indiana's most popular natural attraction, Marengo Cave- shout out to Mrs. Racster), and I ended up not going because I was exhausted from the previous day's excursion to Carinthia. Luckily, though, Michaela is persistent and super-friendly, and she kept inviting me to do things. Like going hiking on a nearby mountain called the Schöckl yesterday.

We left around 9 AM and hiked all the way up to the Spitze (that's "summit" for all of you Anglophones). The trails here are marked with Austrian flags painted on rocks and trees, which you can see in this picture. I'm sure the view from the top would have been beautiful had it not been so foggy (the word "Nebel" (fog) is forever engraved upon my brain), but I was happy to go out and do something and practiced lots of German. Most of these students are Czech, Slovak, or Slovenian, so while I might end up speaking German with a slavic accent, at least people won't respond to me in English.

It was so cold at the summit that we went to a Gasthaus (which Michaela, Katka, and I are standing outside of in the picture) and had hot chocolate and soup (Gemütlichkeit, anyone?). I had cream of pumpkin soup because Styria is world-renowned for its pumpkin seed oil, which I had never heard of before but actually kind of enjoy. We didn't spend much more time at the top because of the cold and the fact that we could barely see 15 feet in front of us, but the hiking itself was really good exercise. I was exhausted at the end of the day but in a good, I-just-spent-the-day-at-Holiday-World kind of way.

This weekend was also important because my roommate Yasha had a birthday (he's the Latvian violinist that I told every one was Polish...oops). He turned 21 so Laura (Italian roommate) and I baked him a cake. Yasha is on the right, Laura is in the middle, and Zach (from Texas) is sitting next to me. At one point every one was wearing the Sponge Bob birthday hats I bought at the Allerlei 1€ store (roughly translated as "Everything's €1!" it's tied with Interspar- which is as close to Target as you can get and thus where I go when I'm homesick because it reminds me of the US- as my favorite store in Graz). I'm not sure why Zach and Laura took theirs off, but I doubt that they would have preferred Winnie the Pooh, which was the only other option.

To top off this wunder-weekend, Monday was the Austrian National Holiday (celebrating what neither the Austrians nor I know), and because I have Fridays off anyway it was a 4 day weekend for me. Thus, we'll end this on a high note, with a group shot of my new Slavic friends.